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You’ve said your goodbyes, so now you have two choices: you can either comport yourself with the sad-eyed grace of a 1940s Hollywood star, or you can go to Lindsay Lohan pieces. Here’s what we think you should – and shouldn’t – do.
1) Defriend and unfollow him/her this minute Now do the same for all his friends. Keeping in touch with them is just as bad – you might think you’re going to be able to do the sane thing (ie not look at their pics every Monday, hoping for a clue about what he’s been up to on the weekend), but we all know that’s not going to happen.
2) Delete his/her number (and, yes, all his friends’ digits, too) Of course you know it off by heart, but hopefully at 3am on Saturday night (which is the time you’ll be reaching to use it), all those tequilas will have played havoc with your memory.
3) Don’t use the words of every sad song ever written as your status You’re not being mysterious or obscure. Everyone who knows you knows about your breakup, and although everyone has sympathy for the broken hearted, quoting Miley is never clever.
4) Don’t be tempted to get a tattoo – you know, so that you remember that this too shall pass every time you look at your wrist Because, yes, the heartbreak will run its course eventually, and one day you’ll be 40, happily married with a reminder about some idiot whose name now escapes you.
5) Always be a lady/man We know it’s hard to walk past the Skrillex CD he left in your lounge without doing the ugly cry, but on the other hand, calling him and telling him he has to come and pick it up right this very instant is petty (plus, it sounds like you’re hunting for a reason to see him). On the other hand, tossing out his favourite Diesel sweatshirt, his Walking Dead box set and his collection of sports biographies – items which he probably does want – is just mean.